The Pain That Keeps You Awake

Have you ever cried in bed so bad, wanted to scream your lungs out hoping someone could hear you... You feel so drained, so tired, so dead inside. So helpless, so lost - you wanna talk to someone about it but it's late at night and you don't know who you could turn to without bothering them, so you just pine and hope someone could take the initiative to text you instead... but it doesn't happen.

You wanna resort to social media, to pour your heart out... but you hold back because you're afraid people might judge or even call you attention-seeking.

Does anybody understand this kind of loneliness?

You wish you could be "chill af", you wish you were one of those people who could put your mind at ease and decide not to give a fuck whenever you want to and just go to sleep? Too bad you aren't.

Your eyes start to weigh a ton from all the crying, but your thoughts continue to keep you wide awake. You feel your heart ache with every sigh you let out. 

You start to contemplate life and overthink every little thing that comes to your mind.

At last, you finally doze off as the sun rises... but when you wake up, have to face the world and it's time for you to put on that smile again, this feeling doesn't go away. It stays. It makes you feel empty deep inside. So hurt, so in pain, so damaged.

Isn't it funny how someone out there might actually be going through the same and understand how this feels? Yet we're all alone in this.